In Hell

I've cried enough tears to make the ocean jealous.

I cut off all my hair. You said it was my strength.

I cut off people too. You said I always run back to them.

But what about the things you did to make me run.

I've confessed my sins.

But are they really sins or did those things YOU called sins, make you feel like less of a man?

Jealous. Insecure. Angry.

Because someone else didn't lie to me. Because someone else told me I was beautiful. And I believed them. More than I ever believed you.

You told me it was over. You wanted out.

But I had no way out. You controlled everything. So I checked out mentally.

I literally teetered on the edge. Night after night.

I stopped believing in love because of you.

I grew to hate myself because of you.

I let you do things to me that I can't scrub away. I've tried.

Yet, here we are. Again.

I'd die, but I'm already in hell.