Imaginary Love

I know we never met

at least not ideally

because all those conversations we had in my head

just ended up falling into a net.

A net of fallen dreams that still have a possibility of coming true in the

future

especially the dream that perhaps one day you could be my suture.

But in the end

they wasted away.

Because neither of us had the courage to spark up that day,

or the next,

or the one thereafter,

with a simple conversation that would fill our hearts with laughter.

And it hurts.

It hurts me that I hurt myself just for the chance that it brings me closer

to you.

I don't know how that would work.

But in my world where we talk every night and you embrace me when I

can't fight,

you notice that I'm crippling myself,

catching me,

everytime

I fall.

I know we never said goodbye.

At least not ideally

because now every time I look up your eyes glance away freely

as if looking at my face will break your heart

because at least in my world,

it hurts you just as much to part.

I know we never said goodbye.

I tried.

But the fear of you ripping that net magnified.

You would not only kill my dreams,

you would leave me empty,

forcing me to fill my lungs with water from the streams,

screaming aplenty.