If Words Were Said

*10 PM on our bed in our house filled with dread*

Her: “I’m ignoring you because we are falling apart”

Me: “You’re destroying me, your silence is filled with my thoughts”

Her: “I love you but sometimes it’s not enough”

Me: “I need you, but you’re not here for us”

Her: “You need to be more money driven, I can’t keep making all our decisions”

Me: “I don’t care about money or life, all I care about is you and making things right”

Her: “I make more money than you, can’t you for once pull through”

Me: “I try my best I do, but the reaper keeps me up and kills me too”

Her: “I can see you use alcohol to get you loose, but I don’t stop you because it’s what I don’t do”

Me: “Why don’t you touch me anymore? I know you know I need it more”

Her: “I say it’s because work leaves me with no endurance but that’s a lie”

Me: “I need reassurance, please come lay by me, you’re so far away”

Her: “No you’ll just get horny and I don’t get that way”

Me: “You were a whore before me, now you don’t lust your fiancé? You make me worried, do you have anything left for me?”

Her: “I love you but I’ll let you linger”

Me: “Baby, all I ask is to feel your fingertips on my skin”

Her: “Okay fine but I’ll act like I don’t like it”

Me: “Then I don’t want it”

Her: “Fine, nothing is what you’ll get”

Me: “But I need to feel you to feel us again”

Her: “We’re too lost to be found in skin on skin”

Me: “God I miss us and who we had been”

Her: “Maybe if you would just trust me we wouldn’t be here”

Me: “I have issues with your loyalty because you told me you’ve cheated before”

Her: “I’ve never done it to you but I’m starting to want to explore”

Me: “I can’t lie I’ve had the same thoughts, but they’d go away if you touch me because you’re all I want”

Her: “I’m too stubborn to give that up, too stubborn to give you up”

Me: “I’m trying to stay but I can’t. What are we if I can’t feel your hands? What are we if we’re not even friends? Do we even have a relationship?”

Her: “No but I love you too much to do it myself”

Me: “You’re forcing me to love myself more, something I’ve never been sure of”

Her: “Maybe that’s what you need, there’s no cure for us. I’ll keep using sex against you, I’ll keep manipulating you with my moods until you break”

Me: “I’m already broken and you know that, you see your anger scare me back in to my black”

Her: “It’s partially because I don’t know how to be open and both our mentalities clash”

Me: “We live under different notions but if we talked about it we could correct”

Yet these words were never spoken

So the next morning she laid down a note and her ring

And just,

... left.

Me: “It wasn’t until now that I realized she didn’t love me like I did her. She watched me bleed just to keep the blade sharp. Sometimes you have to leave to prove who you are. ALWAYS choose your own love.”