If I Had Known

If I had known back then

that I would never see you again

I would have treated you better

said goodbye a little slower

But I was dumb and I got mad

I made you think you were bad

when you only wanted the best for me

but I only wanted to be set free

I thought I knew what was for the best

when I really couldn't have known any less

And when you tried to show me the right way

was the night that I ran away

I did everything that was wrong

The others decided I didn't belong

which is how I ended up on my own

I had never truly felt alone

It was then, all alone, when I remembered you

and bitterly, I realized that your words were true

And then I didn't care, I wanted to go home to you

But my pride stopped me from doing that, too

I probably should've fought against it

should've thought of you and tried to make it

But my brain and body were both too far gone

They forced my heart to be cold and move on

So I stayed on the streets, doing everything I could to survive

all the while feeling dead and not alive

Sometimes I closed my eyes and wondered if I should just give up

But then something in me kept screaming, "Hey, wake up!"

Now months have passed

Since I saw you last

I have nothing to my name

Only my clothes and shame

And it's a freezing winter day

I know that I cannot stay

In the streets, 'cause then I'll freeze

On second thought, maybe it's the answer to my pleas

And then I see a man all decked in black

Smelling like money, everything I lack

He steps up to me, he holds out a picture

He asks me, "Does this person look familiar?"

I'm no longer alone with no money

'Cause you made sure everything would come to me

And even though I know I don't deserve it

I can do nothing but accept it

The tears blur my vision

But I pay them no attention

I should've gone back at least once when I could

No, I shouldn't have left, I should've understood