Ideal

Did I assume to find you so soon

Underneath the threshold of mind

Before I felt the impact left behind

By the tyranny of my expectations?

I watched you slowly shy away

Closing blinds to the light of day

Averting further from your truth

Pretensive, and afraid of being seen

All I can do is hope hopelessly

As the downward spiral goes on.

And on.

And on.

Like a baby, grasping blindly

At all the things I thought were nice

Reaching into the toy box again

Digging into a past, tinted in rose

Where everything seemed sweeter

And the grass was greener

And the gas was cheaper (oh man)

I never noticed too closely

How the world has its own way

Of burrowing anxieties deep inside

To the place we each hold most dear

And it does so innocently

Never minding the crater left behind

Like a child, bearing down upon

The poor little ants in the sand

The circle of life

Is a funny kind of cycle

At least from a detached perspective

But what about now?

Every day is another day

Where I feel, more and more

The weight of decisions made

And it gets harder for me to wake

Afraid that whatever I’m gunning for

Will never amount to anything

Yet here I am, waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting.

I’m an emptied wallet chasing dreams

And the dreams never seem to last too long

And longing is another burn

Branded upon a mural of emotion

I'm always afraid to bear it all

For fear of ridicule and attention

Like wearing long sleeves

Hiding yesterdays sorrow

But today was a strange one

A crazy old man took me aside

Said If I want that gold, I gotta dig inside

A kingdom passing the test of time

Or maybe the only friend I’ll ever have

And it simply rests there, biding time

Holding the key I thought I threw away

Buried beneath the threshold

Where only I will know the truth.