I Wrote this Poem with the Lines that Didn’t Have Poems, And Now It’s the Last Poem About You
A fight poem.
It is hot as Hades this morning.
It is supposed to be in the 80s but it is a 9.
I wake up with an urge to lay everything out
on the clothing line of an abandoned backyard,
the one with the dead grass and the broken trampoline.
If I truly wear my heart on my sleeve like I say I do,
then today is the day to show it off.
We’ve done this dance so many times that I am
surprised when you don’t know the choreography.
I’ve been weighed down by everything I’ve wanted
to say to your face, slowly working the weight off
with every mention of the word ‘you’ in my poems.
This is the final stand.
The worst thing that a poet can do is waste
their words on someone who will never hear them,
and that is the problem with all my poems.
I can’t wait for the day the you in my poems
are not referring to you anymore, and that
day comes closer everyday. The feelings I had for
you are archived, stored safe in the data bank of
my writing and ready to be accessed at a
moment's notice.
Last time you saw me,
I looked at you with a set of
empty eyes and a broken heart.
Next time I see you,
I will look right through you with eyes
full of love and a heart full of life,
bruised but not broken anymore.
I used to hold onto your words like they were
a part of my suicide note. If the most important
part of our past were tattooed on us,
your face would have been engraved
all over my body. Now I don’t even remember
what you look like. I used to use your voice as
a ringtone, and now I don’t remember what
it sounds like. I used to spell your name out
in the stars at night for everyone to see,
but now when I hear your name,
it feels like a body shot that causes me to
vomit all the butterflies I have leftover
from the first time you and I kissed.
I would whisper everything that I loved about
you into a dandelion and blow it away hoping that
it would reach you, but I guess it got lost in the wind.
I was afraid to let go because when I did,
I thought I would be losing the happiest
chapter of my life. I’d be letting go of the me
that was with you,
the best version of me,
the me that I’ve wanted to be my entire life,
and was worried I’d never find that me again.
Well, I did.
He was hiding in my writing,
and he is doing better than any other
me that I have met.
I fought too hard for you.
I fought for you so hard, and when I lost I felt stupid
mistaking scars for scratches in my armor.
From this, I learned that the only difference
between courage and stupidity is intention.
You made me focus on all the reasons that
I should leave that I lost sight of all the reasons
I should stay.
I will always care for you, I will always love you,
and you will always be a part of my story.
That never changes. But, it is time to let you go.
Forever.
Because we only have two hands.
If we hold onto just one thing for too long,
we lose so much that we’ve never held.
@solosiyonqoba
About the Creator
Solo Gamez
Words that have the power to move mountains.
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