I Wish You Would Let Me In

I wish I could step inside your mind, just to see what it feels like. To be able to have me come and go at your command, and see how empowering it is to have the upper hand.

I wish you would let me in.

I just want you to know that you do this to me, and no matter how hard I try and make you see, you never seem to care, you leave me feeling stripped and bare. I am left tangled up inside this sinking feeling.

I wish you would let me in.

I give myself to you in every single way yet I am still finding to my dismay that I am never enough, I will never be enough for you. I don't know what else you want me to do.

I wish you would let me in.

I try to block you out of my head as I lay here alone in this double bed but all I get is deja vu thinking of the times where me and you spent days in the sheets although to me it felt like weeks, how did it feel for you?

I wish you would let me in.

At first I was stable and steady, prepared for this emotional roller coaster; I was ready. But then there was a twist in the tracks and from feeling relaxed you turned me into a concoction of sickness and doubt, I want this so bad but I also want out.

I wish you would let me in.

Why did you let me get so close? You had me wasting my time waiting in line with all the other girls who had to compete and show that they wanted you the most. You just took your pick and deleted the others with a click from your phone, leaving me all confused and all alone.

I wish you would let me in.

Looking back I can see that you would have been no good to me, but still I hold this sickly feeling for you whenever I see your name, it's mad to think that you almost drove me insane. I have to admit in all my years, it was you that made me cry the most tears. You almost had me convinced, that I was worth nothing more than a number you gained for your "list." But luckily for me I realised my self-worth, I know warn others to stay clear of your turf.

I'm glad you never let me in.