I Wish This Was New to Me

I wish this was new to me

The sleepless nights the fights

All the strife this life

The anxiety

I wish this was new to me

I'm here but not

I'm cold yet I'm hot

I'm scrambling to reconcile the heart of the plot

Oh how I wish this was new to me

The fear of just being

I don't see her

Disappear

The hypocrisy

I wish this was New to me

Can't you see?

Even if I pay the fee

I have to find the key

That's buried beneath these concrete streets

Hell.

Isn't it swell

How I can see these things even though I'm locked in a cell

Wait

I forgot you can't even tell

You frown because it's just make believe to you

I'm just a clown

My world is real

It's a world inside my head

Opening up about it fills me with dread

There are some days I can't even roll out of bed

Please lord

Give us our

Daily bread forgive us our debts

For how we are feeling is something left unsaid

I wish this was new to me

Longing to feel complete

I wish this was new to me

How I wish this was new to me