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I Wish I Had Her Number

Used and Abused

By Ayahna AntoinePublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Stop doing hatever it is you are doing for other people when you realize it is expected and not appreciated 

I wish I had her number so I can call and tell her not to bother

You can tell throughout her whole life she has not had one dependable father.

What she doesn't know eats her from the insides out

Trying to pry love out of him like a dog

Crawling on all fours

Puppy eyes

He has her on a leash

And me?

I sit back and watch

Like a spectator

Not knowing what’s coming next

But she takes that criticism gracefully

Like she don’t know any better

He is her master and she is the submissive

Submitting to his immoral ways

Bowing down to him like a slave

But what she didn’t know

Was that he wasn’t worth it

He had other girls that he thought of more perfect

And her?

She was just a booty call

It’s funny how a man can be what you want him to be

But she wasn’t appalled

She took it

Every stoke became deadly

And the darkness consumed her soul

He used her like a wet rag

And consumed her whole

And Like a snake

He strangled the life from her

Took mini bite of her

When he was all finished

He told her she needed to go home

But little did he know her house was not a home

But a dark pit

She tries to put together her life but the pieces don’t fit

And if you have been doing puzzles as long as I have

It don’t makes sense

I felt bad for her

To the point where I feel a knot in my stomach

Whirling around coiling my intestines

I watch this homicide and felt destine ……to save her soul

She was in knee deep

He had already made love to her mind

Til her body couldn’t do with him

That night I watched as tears filled up to the rim of her eyes

And its true that in a near death experience you see your childhood go by.

What struck me was when she left he didn’t even say bye

The anguish took over her mentally

That makes depression a factor

Ohh my bad anguish is a severe mental or physical suffering

And that’s what he caused

The reason she won’t trust another man

Well that’s his fault.

I wish I had her number so I can call and tell her not to bother

Not to bother with the atrocities of love

Love is an intense feeling of deep affection

And affection is a gentle feeling of fondness or liking

Nor was he fond

And his affection was only sexual

Only to leave her standing there butt naked

Hands shaking and goose bumps for a pack of wolves

He didn’t want to learn her intellectually

And true love wasn’t in his dialect

Instead he wanted to use his propulsive force

And obliterate her body sexually.

You can tell she has not had one dependable father

To tell her right from wrong

Or to sing that no boys til your fourty song

Instead she uses men as her father figure

She doesn’t know any better

She is drowning into his pool of existence and only getting wetter

He said I love you to

But is it love or lust

You erect, get hard and

only nice when you wanna fuck

but she takes it thankful for the fake love you gave

but when it all said and done

She crawls right back into her cave

That cave is where she feels nonexistent

The darkness not only consumes her

But her tears turn to acid

it burns through her flesh leaving her bitter less and passive

Every piercing on her body defines the mark

The mark that every man left on her skin

The way they pierce through her physically and mentally

Leaving nothing but a hole

Its deep and hollow

And all that depression follows

And every puff puff pass represents the way she inhales the insult

She takes it like a champ

Goes in her hole and revamps

And then she is ready for more

You broke got no job can’t even take her to the store

Every time I think of her my heart stops

You walk all over her like you are in a corn field with dead crops.

Those crops they represent her soul

So many people have stepped on it its o longer a whole

But scattered

Pieces are all over and it takes a real man to find them

heartbreak
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