I Was Just Guessing at Numbers and Figures

I've thought of letting go but can't -

not yet.

I want to rush back to the beginning and never let myself fall,

because it's now that it's beginning to bleed,

and soon it will scar.

Regardless of the outcome.

I wouldn't describe it as sadness -

not yet.

Just confusion.

And being absolutely terrified of you.

The sadness will come in time.

It will come in waves.

I have so many questions to ask you.

And so many memories to resurface.

Because surely if you'd remember those memories -

you'd remember me.

How on earth did you even forget?

You said you wouldn't.

I love my life so much.

And am thankful for the things it has brought me.

And can hardly wait to see what else it has to give.

But I almost wish I could pick and choose.

Though I know that's not the way it works.

Just waiting on standby.