I See...

There’s nothing more sad than spending the night in your room, just looking out the window, staring at the walls, watching the flame of the candle dance around from the glare off my dresser. How did I get here? Why am I so stuck?

So many thoughts that run through my mind in the late hrs of the night, when everyone else is sleeping, I’m wide awake living with my regrets. Thinking of my next move, but yet I’m stuck standing still, so how can I go anywhere?

I wish I could just run away to the moon. Start over. Live a different life. To fantasize of a different time. When I was young and carefree. Before I knew what awaited me in adulthood. If I could just go back one time. Just one more chance..

What would I do? Where would I go? All life’s opportunities are slowly slipping away and I feel like there’s no way I can hold on to them anymore. Self affliction of my own misery? Maybe so. So deep in negativity that I can’t see light anymore? Probably.

Sometimes we become buried so deep in our own sadness, that even with the tools to escape we are unable to, and instead of using the tools to set ourselves free, we use them to dig ourselves deeper in fear...

Will happiness ever be waiting on either side for me? In a world where it’s just not meant for certain people to have, and unfortunately I was one of the cursed ones to be born into a mental prison of solitude. An emotional tornado. With the heart and soul of a hurricane...