I Remember

I remember being 5 years old holding on to that door screaming I want to go no more!

I remember drawing superheroes And you throwing them away pretending you knew nothing of where they would lay

I remember you screaming at my prom date voice full of hate

I remember missing my graduation day you thinking I wanted to keep the money for a cap that day,

Probably, honestly, I can't really say if that was true even to this day

I remember falling for this one thinking she was the one only to push her away dreading the day you and her would meet and have words to say

I remember putting the belt to my neck that hot Christmas day

eyes in tears bitter screams

“Why was I raised this way!”

Do you remember?

What do you have to say?

If you could change, would you?

Or would Jehovah have the last say?

Can your god fix me today, or am I broken forever ?

Dog without a home, a stray

Doesn’t matter really,

But that's the price we pay

Tears rolling down my face telling me “its Gods way and that's how it shall stay, you’ll thank me later”

What you would say

But wen is later? After today?

When your long gone one Christmas day?

Wen every woman that I ever pushed away

Has married wishing it was me they would lay?

That is a fantasy that your god will not allow me to have this day

blasphemy he would say!

But more so My dismay

So is my burden to bear

Since then and to this day.