I Remember

I Remember When

I remember I was six and was just a little girl who had no idea my life was going to be so cold.

I remember hearing banging and crying in the room, while the monster threw my older sister around the room

I remember closing the door and being alone with a man that was supposed to protect me not hurt me

I remember being scared because I knew what to expect but there was no way to escape

I remember being only six and not knowing what else was in store for me

I remember being told to get the stick so that my hands could be turned purple and blue

I remember hearing “get over here you’re gonna get it too”

I remember being called in the room and told what to do

I remember every detail of how it all began

I remember I was just a kid

I remember I was eight

I remember when I was a little girl full of innocence and then it was taken away

I remember the dryness of my mouth as I stood in silence

I remember being looked at by the monster

I remember being touched by the monster

I remember being tortured by the monster

I remember wanting to die because of the monster

I remember feeling my body get weak and seeing the light

I remember the ringing in my head

I remember the screaming in my head when it was happening

I remember the awkwardness

I remember wanting it all to end

I remember seeing my sisters in pain

I remember causing some of that pain

I remember turning against my mom

I remember not understanding why

I remember being the monster’s slave

I remember being scared for my brothers

I remember wanting to run away

I remember crying for help

I remembering school being my only get away

I remember when I first started to hate

I remember wanting to end its life

I remember wanting to end it all

I remember when I ended it all...