I Must Ask

I must ask

Is this what it feels like?

To feel it all in my chest.

To feel it fly steadily up my throat like a moth that's stuck inside an empty house.

Is this what it means to be happy?

To get excited and know that

you aren't the only one who is smiling like a dumb ass.

No, no because

For once,

He is too.

Is it all real,though ?

It's all so perfect,you know.

The flame that burns

like it's calling on me, like I'm in trouble. Oops.

But their Must be a flaw, right?

Just a little closer.

See some type of danger

Where are the warning signs?

The caution signs?

I keep telling myself if it all turns to hell

That I will climb back out and dust my clothes off, and keep walking.

That if I get burned, I'll survive it.

But maybe I don't have to, this time.

Maybe I don't need to worry

Maybe I can finally just give in and stop worrying

Stop freaking out on

Whether or not I'm good enough.

Whether or not

There's an emergency exit door in his chest.

And whether or not

My flame will go out...

In his heart.

They say that girls are fragile, and should be treated like glass.

But you know I don't want to be fucking fragile

I don't wanna be porcelain and sit on the shelf that's inside your heart.

Just to collect dust.

I want you to look at my unshaven hair

And not care

I want you to realize that I can be masculine

As any guy is.

That I'll eat as much as I want

That I can be strong, too.

I know you think glass breaks easily

That if you accidentally drop it

It will shatter into pieces

But maybe I want to be shattered.

There is no "handle with care " sticker on my forehead

But maybe there should be one on yours.