I Made You My Priority

So I made a previous post on "I LOVE YOU" - What I said on there about love still stands. This is about a rant on a current heart-break.

HA!

You said you got me.

We said really sweet stuffs to one another. Made promises.

I expressed an opinion on something.

You made your decision.

I feel like such a fool

I feel like I am an absolute idiot.

I should have seen the signs in the beginning

I can't complain. I knew what I was getting myself into

I am not happy, yet I don't want to let go.

Or did I convince myself that I am happy?

Your actions, don't match your words

Maybe I just don't understand you as much as I thought I did

For days now, we haven't talked to one another. Yet you claim you love me more

We are both active on social medias and messaging apps, yet we don't say anything.

I don't feel guilty. I am hurt...I guess I made the wrong call thinking this would be different.

I am losing you. I guess it probably wasn't meant to be.

I want you to fight for me. Just say something. Do something.

I miss you but I feel you do not.

I am going to bury myself with work. To avoid thinking of you.

When you are ready, you will get in contact with me.

Or maybe not.

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We just broke up not even up to a week.

I am hurt and empty

You appear in my dreams

You said nothing has changed and that is right

Nothing has changed really

except the fact you are allowed to see anyone else

I don't know how long this feeling is going to take to get rid of

but I am not going to rush it

I am going to allow myself to mourn the end of this relationship

I was never your priority when I made you mine

You never loved me as much as I loved you

I guess that really scared you

I don't blame you. I blame myself for going in too deep

Sometimes when I think of you, I feel I am going to cry but I try not to

I hope I don't see you too soon again. I don't know how my emotions would be.

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Unfortunately you happened to prob hook up with a friend of mine who you didn't know nor did he know of you.

I just happened to be right there when this happened

I didn't feel rage. Not at all

I am finding it hard to let go and yet there you are, about to get someone under you

It is okay. I will move on...

I am dealing with so much loss right now

Hopefully you will be a distant memory

I have a list of songs I play. I will get over you eventually.

My only issue is my thought of you with someone else

It's really damaging. This is one of the reason I am cutting contact with you.

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It has been a couple of weeks and I feel so much better.

At this point, I have no interest in anyone (maybe on a few who have caught my attention). I just want to pass my exams and get ahead of things.

Then you messaged and I am confused. It was so much better when you didn't message

Yet, your message made me a bit calmer.

I have questions though. Why are you doing this?

If my friends found out I am replying your messages, there would be hell.

I have no interest in coming back to you though. I am just being so curious about why I am getting this attention from you.

What do you want?

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I just discovered who you truly are

You are such a pretentious person

People don't see what you really are

I am quite ashamed and embarrassed I dated you

I am thankful for the lessons. So thank you really.

Thank you from the depth of my heart