I'm Just Fine

I see my Facebook feed of friends

Are they actually my friends?

I don’t talk to any contacts,

Because I am afraid of them.

Afraid of rejection

Afraid I’ll annoy them,

Afraid that I’ll embarrass myself.

I’m afraid that they’ll ask me

How I’ve been for the past week

And that I’ll just let everything spill.

I’m so fucking lonely

But my anxiety owns me.

My depression cages me

My mania enrages me.

I feel like a failure,

I can’t get even job offers,

Or keep a job

Because I’m afraid of customers.

So, I’ll say I’m just fine.

So, I’ll say I’m just fine.

It’s all good, I’m alright.

Doing well, I’m just fine.

Friends from school getting married soon,

Many of them have already have kids, too

But I feel like I can’t trust anyone

Long enough to let them in

What if they think I’m a fuck up

What if they think I’m too fucked up

I’m too baggage for me to handle myself.

I’m my own worst critic

Can’t depend on me for shit

Why the fuck can’t my mind just chill?

I’m so fucking lonely

But my anxiety owns me

My depression cages me

My mania enrages me

I feel like I’m worthless

Will I ever get through this

Or am I just destined

To live my whole life alone

In this fucking shell.

So, I’ll say I’m just fine.

So, I’ll say I’m just fine.

It’s all good, I’m alright.

Doing well, I’m just fine.