I'm Broken, Help Me
I need you to understand.
He was my sun and my moon. My world. My existence.
I need you to understand.
He spoke sweet words smooth as silk. Lied to my face and didn't think twice about it.
So I need you to understand.
He gave me attention when he felt like it. He made me feel insecure and insignificant.
I need you to understand.
He manipulated me. He made me turn against others. He held all of me in the palm of his hand.
I need you to try and understand.
He was my first. I let him in my darkest corners. Shared every single detail of my life.
So I need you to understand.
He used my weaknesses against me. Hurt me. Put me down. Made me feel like I was stupid.
I need you to understand.
That when something upsets me, I have a hard time trying to explain myself and I just go quiet. It is my defense mechanism, my heart trying to protect me.
That I do not have these mood swings and episodes to frustrate you, but the blow ups were my only way of getting any reaction.
That when I cry and I curl up into a ball, it is because I try to make myself disappear to hide from the confrontation.
That I starve for your time and attention because I was not a priority.
That I constantly need reassurance that you want me, and that you do love me, because I was always reminded that I could be cut off at any time for someone better.
That I have a hard time believing that I deserve any good because I think I deserve nothing.
That I constantly am overthinking because it didn't matter what I said or did, I was always wrong and messed everything up.
That I crave your physical touch because it is sweet and soft, not quick and emotionless.
That I am damaged goods, and even though it has been two years, I still carry these memories and feel these scars.
So please, I need you to understand.
About the Creator
alexandria Urrutia
Just a young adult navigating and exploring. I write authentic feelings and emotions. Welcome to my troubles, anxieties and mental instabilities. Now with an extra add on....im a mom now.
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