I'm a Whore

hi, I’m a whore

but no, sex will never boost my self esteem

as I constantly slope deeper into depression

just because you think its my profession

to have a boy in my face having to look at his expressions

I still remember one of my first sessions

as he held me down and moved toward my midsection

saying “no” but that never stopped the progression

and I screamed every time I felt the compressions

I’ve learned when it comes to sex nothing can satisfy a man’s obsession

and now I can’t look in the mirror and not see the transgression

and no, sex will never "cure" my eating disorder

to think that cum would’ve eased

and when u whispered it into my ear did u know i was displeased

that no, I don’t like being squeezed or teased

hickeys both given and received

that maybe I didn’t care about the fact that u didnt like how i breathed

no, I think the only thing that mattered was if u achieved

you didn’t care about me and i felt so deceived

because u said u loved me until the moment I conceived

and no a girl’s reputation is not so easily retrieved

so no, sex does not in any way truely help or define me

I am not defined by the amount of time spent waiting for someone to be real

not equal to those who lie and steal

And I am blamed for having sex appeal

Ever think that maybe I can’t stand sexual ordeals

And no, I didn’t want the hickeys i so desperately tried to conceal

constantly trying to fit everyone else’s ideals

And maybe you should think a good deal

So that maybe you’ll understand that I’m just trying to feel

Things that to someone like me seem surreal

Like belonging, empathy and maybe sometimes love?

Hi, am I a whore?