I Looked at Myself

I'm sorry

I failed you

again.

I'm sorry

I failed you to the point

that you had

to put your

hands on me.

But afterwards

you said you loved me.

You said

I was being disrespectful

and had to shape up.

You said

you were teaching me

how to be good.

I loved you

so I knew

it was my fault.

You kept beating me

"out of love."

I kept blaming myself

"out of love."

It went on for years

until I finally looked.

My lipstick

smeared.

My mascara

running.

As I took

the dress

off my body.

I looked at the pain

you caused.

I ran my fingers

along the fresh

purple bruises.

The wounds that healed

but left scars.

I thought it was

all my fault.

I thought I

deserved it.

I thought

I wasn't capable of loving you.

But now I realize

it still is my fault.

My fault for choosing the wrong guy.

My fault for thinking

you were the greatest man.

My fault for wasting valuable time

on something worthless.

Today, I looked at myself

and it changed everything.