I Just Wanted the Boy

I just wanted the boy.

I wanted the ocean view of his eyes.

I wanted to feel his dark mousy hair between my fingers.

I wanted to trace his smooth skin again and kiss his soft lips that tasted like peppermint.

I wanted his affection and his arms that wrapped me up so tight.

I wanted to see his smile and hear his voice again.

I wanted his comfortable silence and his bad puns.

I wanted him.

Was that too much to ask?

I wanted to give him everything I had even if I got nothing back.

I don't know if that's what love is.

Maybe it was when he stayed up all night listening to me cry.

Maybe it was when he came over and held me because I couldn't take him not being at school anymore.

Maybe it was when I ran to his arms every chance I got.

I wanted him.

I didn't care about the fast car or concerts.

I cared about him.

His soul.

It was sad and beautiful

It was reserved like a morning glory

And I would've held it forever until it bloomed-

Until my own garden died.

Maybe that's why he didn't stay though.