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I Hate it So Bad

Hate is a strong word.

By Gaga beePublished 5 years ago 1 min read
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I hate it how it's been years,

and the words spoken

are still fresher in my mind

than if I had heard them a minute ago.

I hate the fact

that those words

are stuck in my head,

and rush through my brain

like a song on repeat,

at every waking moment of every day ,

and beyond.

I hate that I love

when I can't even define the word.

I hate that I am left speechless

when most expected to speak.

I hate that I commit myself

to something that doesn't even exist.

I hate it how hard I fight myself

to get over what I was never even under.

Yet still lose the battle

every damn time.

I hate that the same name

always manages to find it's way into all my mindless scribbles

and is more present in my head

than the name of G-d.

I hate that "nothing,"

feels like "everything."

But most of all I hate that I hate,

because hate is a strong feeling

that you would only bother taking the energy to have

towards something you care about,

and I hate that I care about this so much

that I hate it so bad.

heartbreak
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