I Ask the Same Question Every Night...
I wish I could read your mind.
I can’t do this anymore
Laying here sobbing on the kitchen floor
She says she needs me here
I’m not important to anyone
My thought won’t leave me alone
She keeps telling me to hold on
I can’t escape the darkness in my head
Telling her everything, wouldn't be okay
So, I lie so she can’t be hurt
She asked me if I wanted to stay
I only said yes so she wouldn't be afraid
She doesn't know that I can’t breathe
Every time she leaves it means
The thoughts don't cease
My mind creates a battlefield
It wants to destroy every piece of me
So, I don't tell her the details of these pieces
The pieces that shattered on the floor the night before
She stays confused because she’s not someone I can let see me break
There are things I can’t say or feel with her
She can read me without even trying
I took too much poison
I just wanted to sleep, to be normal
I just want to be free...
Until you cried because of me
You've changed everything within me
So, if you're not okay, that’s when my heart doesn't beat
I break when you're away, when you leave and I don't see you for a few days
So, sometimes I can’t breathe
Sometimes I hope that you don't think you can save me
I may explode someday, like the end of your name
You were terrified to watch it obliterate
Someday, if I hold the same fate
I need to minimize the people in the quake
You have to be the one who comes out okay
That is why I push you away
But you are the only reason I stay...
About the Creator
Ashley Nicole
I’m caught between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it.
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