I-I am so tired
I am so exhausted
it's not that I don't get much sleep, that's not the case
I get my full 8 hours, sometimes even more.
Mentally exhausted
my emotions are spinning round and round in my head
like a merry-go-round at my favorite playground
Tired of feeling so alone.
Like I am in outerspace, stuck in shuttle all by myself
Feeling so claustrophic.
Wishing I could step outside and just stop breathing
Don't get me wrong, I am suicidal, but I could never kill myself
I have too much to live for
Everyday I do something that can kill me
like when I bring my cancer sticks to my lips knowing that every drag of nicotine
can kill me
Everytime I ride my motorcycle into the sunset without my helment, I know what can partake
I know the risks
I don't have no courage to take a gun to my head
no courage to put a rope around my neck
I can't swallow a bottle of pills
I don't see myself doing that
my life is like a rollercoaster you see at the county fair
the positives and the negatives going up and down
I am so tired
I am so tired of feeling like a boulder is lying on my chest
i want to escape
Escape the loneliness that lies within me.
I want to feel the happiness that I know I can have
like lying under a nice soft warm blanket
with my favorite music playing, reading my favorite books
and hopefully lying with my man/woman I love so dearly
Feeling that warm comfort of happiness
I
I am so tired.
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.