I Am Not You

I will never be you.

Never.

There's no, "If I were you" or "I used to".

I don't care.

Your life was different growing up than mine.

I grew so accustomed to the mistakes I made, you can't make me cry anymore.

My heart grew colder. More enclosed.

I hate the thought of letting my feelings go.

Deeper into my chest you'd have to go.

You say you don't understand my mind.

Of course you don't.

I hear lyrics all day long.

Lines of poetry running through my head.

Questions, thoughts.

Memories.

Many, many memories.

You can spend a lifetime trying to figure out who I really am inside my head, but you can't.

You look at me expecting that since you raised me since 5 I'll act like you did when you were younger.

Ask yourself, were you happy growing up?

I mean, were you really happy?

I know I'm happy.

I hear you complain about the things you had to do.

That wasn't happiness.

That wasn't being the kid you were supposed to be.

So what, I may be more irresponsible and more lazy.

But the places I'm headed are better than the places you've ever been.

I will never be you.

Never.

Let me be me.

You chose the family you wanted.

Why accept me less now because it's hardest?

I'll be gone in a couple years.

I don't have the money to go as far as I want to, but maybe I can at least get a few hours away from here.

Then I'll be no trouble to you.

Pardon me for being a kid.

There's so little time left for me.

Please don't make me try to be different now.

It hasn't worked for years.

You know I'll be different once I leave.

I'm better away from home.

Just wait and see.