How Have I Been Playing Small

i am guilty for playing small

i do that a lot

maybe i do so to protect myself

or to blow people away once i get the chance to play bigger

i mean

that’s why i dubbed myself “The Chameleon”

i can adapt to anything

camouflage myself right on the spot

you wouldn’t even notice it

i am extremely wonderful at flipping scripts on people

you don’t know me as well as you may think you know me

i haven’t been showcasing all the greatness that i possess yet

at least not immediately

once you get to know me though,

all that stuff comes to the light

however, people are quick to snap judgements onto

me like it's a new era fitted

this is a new era though

THE RAYMOND ERA

i’m not as confident as i would want to be,

although i’ve been more confident in 2019

than i ever was in any other year of my life

it’s hard for me to look at my 2013 self again

learning and growing, can’t blame me too much

a brother is still maturing, at least i have

enough awareness to acknowledge this

please, don’t treat me like i’m an idiot

i’m smarter than what you give me credit for,

sometimes i don’t always get it

that’s all right too, it’s going to come when it comes

it is like day and night to me

i gotta start fine tuning my plays,

hand me the playbook

i gotta look at the field again

i gotta start fine tuning my cadence, vernacular

i used to get mocked for my voice

now it makes women drop their underwear

just wait until i drop mine too

you’ll be in a state of shock

can’t resist it, your oxytocin won’t let you

i used to get mocked for being talented

now it rakes in the posterity

them same fools who used to say that i was trash

now want to ride, hop off

i used to get mocked for having autism

now i got enough courage to talk about that

people commending you for sharing your story,

i ain’t listening to those people who bash Asperger’s

“iT's nOt a rEaL dIsOrDeR”

i’m an inspiration to these moms, dads, and kids

so keep those Cortical Chauvinism articles to yourself lady

i used to get mocked for being black, believe it or not

people who were darker than me telling me how dark i was

now the ladies got fever they go crazy over my features

not only am i handsome,

i’m also intelligent and passionate