Hold Me

*Before everything went downhill*

I stare into your eyes and I can't look away...

My heart can't help but flutter...

I can't stop myself from smiling...

From getting close to you...

From holding you...

Knowing that it could ruin everything.

I don't know which direction to go in...

It feels like I'm walking on air when I'm with you

But even if it feels so right, there's something telling me it's wrong

I wish I knew what it was or why...

I wish I could tell you something without feeling like I'm being dishonest to one of us.

All I could do is worry about you

About your health...

Your education...

Everything...

Whether you're hungry, if you have everything you need for class..

If there's anything more that I can do...

I can't see something without it reminding me of you

I can't listen to songs without you popping into my head...

I can't sit down and think without you flooding my thoughts.

What's going on?

I can't be happy, can I?

Because I could never choose one or the other

You both provide me with things.

But you're the first person to understand me...

And why is that?

It's scary...

To think that someone knows you to a point that they know some of your thoughts...

The way you think...

Your habits...

Everything... without you even having to explain them...

What's going on?

I feel like I can't survive without having you around...

If something's ever wrong, you're always the first person I go to...

I feel like I need you or else I'll explode...

And maybe you're right,

I can't express my thoughts to you,

But here I am...

Expressing them clear as day...

That I like you...

But I still don't know what to do...

Because I break while you're falling asleep...

I'm trying to pick myself up...

Piece by piece...

Maybe I need more time...

Maybe I'm afraid you'll change your mind and that's why I can't make mine up...

Because you're everything I could ever want...

But why am I not leaping at the chance to have everything I need?

But I know you're hurting while I'm asleep...

I know how many tears your pillow has absorbed at night...

Yet I'm afraid...

And I'm not sure of what...

And I don't know which end to let go of...

But I know we could love each other like we've never experienced pain before...

When my head is on your shoulder...

When your head is on my lap...

When I'm running my hands through your hair...

I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing...