Him

We lasted a month, damn

I thought maybe we’d last a year

Hell I thought we’d last a lifetime

At last we lasted a month

But to say it ended badly would be an understatement

We came to terms

I understood his reasoning

I thought he understood mine

Was I too clingy ?

Was I just too much to handle ?

Thats what everyone said at least

But in that month

That tiny little ounce of my life

I had given everything to him

Id given him my heart

My body

My mind

And my soul

“I dont think you love me”

Something he had the nerve to say to the girl who gave him everything .

How funny is that?

I dont fucking love you ?

I destroyed my life from top to bottom and side to side for you

I hid things, i lied and I did what I could for you

Always for you

I gave you a part of me

And it only took you a month to use it and destroy it

Do you feel like a man ?

is that what it takes to feel like a man ?

I dont know where I messed up

You claimed to have cared you claimed we’d have another chance that you just have things to fix

But I know that wasnt it

You dont love me

Because I wasnt her

I wasnt the girl who lied and hurt and abused your mind

I wasnt the girl who played the games and led you on

No I wasnt the girl who made it into a game of chase

I wasnt someone you had to chase

I let you have me

So easily and so carefully I handed a part of me over to you

So gently you handled me for a while. So easily that ended

I gave it all

To what I thought of as a man

But turns out

I gave it to a little boy

A little boy who still plays his sweet little games

For his own enjoyment

A boy who cant even see the good that he has

Its sad to say but he’ll

probably go back to the girl he loves

I know it wasnt me

But to the girl he loves

When and if

He truly does come back

Or if he finds another

Just know he still owns that little part of me

Of my heart

Please be easy

Please be gentle

Please dont put your hands around his throat and destroy what he gives you

Like what it felt like to me

Love him

For he honestly deserves it

Give him what I couldnt

To make him happy

Make him realize he is not a little boy

Make him realize that he is the man

I always knew he could be