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Here but Gone

Is death the absence of life?

By Jessica BryantPublished 6 years ago 1 min read
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And just like that, I died.

It was really the most tragic kind of death I could think of. To be dead inside a living body. To have all the functions and normalcy of a living being, but possessing none of the essence of it.

A joyless, numb existence. Like being stuck in a functional coma, much the same as an alcoholic can still function. The underlying tormentor mercilessly pulling the strings. Relentless. Cold and lonely. Hopeless.

That's really what it is. Hopelessness, more than anything else. A dead person cannot hope to be alive. They are dead and death is the ultimate finality. But, the truly dead have the advantage for they are unaware that they are forever gone. They know nothing, feel nothing, they are nothing.

What's hard is being aware of your nothingness. To watch as others pass you by full of life and to long for just a moment of it. What's it like, you wonder, to feel every beat of your heart. To feel the wind against your skin. The warmth that radiates from your cheeks as you laugh so hard you cry. What's love like? Is it that rush of weightlessness that leaves you floating in mid air?

And yet, your heart only beats in a steady rhythm. Never wavering. Never fluttering out of excitement, nor longing. Just boom boom, boom boom, boom boom. And your cheeks are flush with neither color nor warmth. Your eyes, like matte spheres nestled on either side of your nose. They do not twinkle. They do not dart to awe at the wonders of life. Lifeless and dull, blank as they stare ahead.

Tragedy. Your heart beats, yes; but, do you? Your eyes see, yes; but, do you? Your ears hear, yes; but, do you? Your body lives, yes; but, do you?

Do you?

Are you even alive if you're dead inside?

sad poetry
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About the Creator

Jessica Bryant

Poetry is medicine.

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