Hello, New Friend

[ — ❝ no playground but a swinging mood.

i missed it temporarily but fate could no longer exclude.

from top to bottom, it shifted dramatically.

i can't begin to time it, it happened sporadically.

each scalp follicle feels the change in wind.

head pounding, something wants out; maybe in.

eyes burning, vision warped, can’t see through.

jagged, shallow, at this point, my face should be blue.

a tight chest, an erratic beating, is this it?

my stiff arms and sweaty palms flail in a fit.

help swarms me but with me, please be cautious

the turmoil in my stomach makes me feel a bit nauseous.

the stiffness halts and now there’s a wobble.

arms hold me up but in panic, but not to coddle.

strength returning, breathing? not so much.

breaking free, waving off. please do not touch.

i'm screaming, i'm sobbing but where are the tears?

that’s it. i’m dying. shedding those mortem fears.

the walls close in but not as quick as my throat.

i allow my body to drop, hoping in turn it’ll float.

the pain doesn’t stop, is that a sign of hell.

am i not going to heaven? which test did i fail.

now i'm pulled off the ground by unfamiliar hands.

snatching away again, i run. this feeling i can’t withstand.

i'm told that i kept going until i was no longer tailed.

can no longer say ‘im okay’, that ship has sailed.

everything went black and nothing else i can could recite.

fighting with my sanity, i clearly didn’t win that fight.

woke up as a patient doing breathing treatment.

everyone looking scared but i have no comment.

so there it is, my anxiety cherry burst.

i can't do it again, barely survived the first.

but now i'm in a fishbowl, everybody tiptoes by.

i swear i'm okay but they’ve seen it’s a lie.

so hello new friend, what should i name you?

anxiety i avoided you for so long, but now i must claim you.

❞ ]