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I've not written in a while,
Perhaps because I no longer have pain to savour,
To cling onto, to hurt myself over, to allow myself to feel like what happened a long time ago was only yesterday.
The sun comes up in a morning, I feel it's warmth on my skin when I rise from my bed, a bed I used to hate waking up from, as the covers became ropes, the more unbearable my depression came, the tighter they wrapped themselves around my skin.
Sometimes when I wake up, and stand up for the first time, as daylight tries to shine between the gaps of the blinds,
I feel like a child again learning to walk, feeling that spark of youthful freedom again, that insatiable curiosity, an awakening to see, to explore.
Unlike the emotionally vacant robot I became, where I thought I knew everything, as I felt holding onto my sadness was the only way I thought I could feel anything, because at least it was something, that last heartstring that's stretching to it's limits.
Although the heart, like an acoustic guitar has more than one string, a guitar has more notes the same way a heart has heartstrings that pluck at the many different kinds of love,
It's these forms of love we don't realise, until we miss the people that matter to us, as we repeatedly pluck the heartbreak string by listening to melancholy music that moves us to tears.
Though when the moment is right, whether laughing with your friends on a beautiful summer's day, feeling a sense of freedom you never had with other people. Or when you hold the hand of that special someone for the first time, chemicals exploding in your brain, like a fireworks display of endorphins, neurons flying like flares around your grey matter, As lips begin to kiss.
Though love makes us weep, when we lose someone, it makes walking forward painful, and can often confine us in the dark parts of our minds, love is the music of life, it dances with time as our fragile lives change, as we meet new friends, and fall in love again, till one day, everything is feels perfect.
The song that's melancholy, changes to a euphoric instrumental, that has its highs and lows as love fades and new love grows.
Love, is a spectrum, a spectrum that has heartbreak on one end, and happiness on the other, it's the yin and yang, the music with different genres, for different times, for different people.
Though it always remains constant, growing with time, shaping our lives.