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It’s all over now
And just like that- all the love songs became memories.
All the good times?
That’s all they were- good times.
Every kiss, hug or touch of affection- all false advertisement.
You’re a lier.
And that right there makes me angry.
Angry enough to destroy what you once loved- my body.
Skip lunch here, purge dinner there.
Thanks to you that’s all I know.
Maybe if I were prettier, skinnier, had a bigger chest and longer hair you would have stayed.
With me at least.
Not with some blonde bitch.
But it’s over now.
Live and move on I guess.
I’m more than some brown eyed, brown hair, Sperry wearing rich kid.
I deserve love.
Real heart-longing love.
Not the fake all-I-want-is-sex-love.
I will find it.
Not from you, but someone lovely.
When I first laid eyes on you, I knew we’d be seeing a lot of each other.
Our long summer days were spent blissfully lying in the sun, soaking in the rays.
Long talks about nothing in particular on the roof.
Cute dates to the local coffee shop.
And my favorite, babysitting your 2 year old sister together.
We were like a family, you and me.
I thought it’d be longer than 1 summer.
But then things changed.
My meals got smaller.
I got skinnier.
My blades got sharper.
My cuts got deeper.
I got quieter.
Your texts- shorter.
Friends no more
2 a.m. text messages
late night trips to the movies
and riding boards
ice cream sundaes
and coca-cola with rum
never again- with you at least
these simple teenage symbols won’t be that anymore
memories that won’t be
you drug the blade across my wrist
you stabbed the knife in my back
i thought we’d be friends until the end
i got help…now it’s your turn
oh how i told
it’s your own fault
you led me to do it
my mother asked why i was bleeding
so i told her you were holding the razor