Heart of Glass

I've spent my life in this kitchen of nightmares, the blood on my hands, the cook in my hair, the tears from my eyes, the knife in my neck.....My heart is like glass.....it's easy to break, to shatter, to destroy. I love my mother. I remember her words spinning in my head. She told me...loving someone for a very long time can be a dangerous thing. It's impossible to stay away. That person is your other half, your soulmate, your only reason to not kill yourself. You're stuck with red roses, loose promises, his killer instinct.

I'm not sure if he's fully satisfied. I worry if he doesn't see me the way I see him. All I ever smell is the fire burning inside before I completely melt. I'm foolish enough to hold on, to believe in him. It's always a blood bath...the night to remember when I covered his secrets, his monstrous deeds. He filled me up. He took me higher than the stars. It felt like a death dream come true in the beginning....but then he'd snap, and jealousy would cloud his heart. The piercing blue, red, and green in his eyes terrified me. I'd kill for him over and over for a lifetime. I'd do whatever it takes to see that menacing smile stretch across his face. He's a heartbreaker for sure. No matter how many times he threw my heart away, I'd always come back for more because I was imprisoned from the moment I laid my eyes on him. He needed me for leverage, to escape. Without me, he wouldn't have survived. He won't admit it, but.....he feels the same. I love him too much to sell him out, to leave him. I just can't! I'm bound to him, I'm lost in him, I belong with him, I belong TO him, I'm beyond crazy....I'm psychotic. He's makes me this way, his love tortures my very soul in this existence.

I allow him to loathe me now so you can enjoy me later. I let you lick my tears today, only to find them again tonight. You rip while I scratch....I'm a lost cause with a lust for love. I crave him.