Have You Been Drinking?

I am a witness

To the breaking apart of the

Purest forms of life.

I have watched years unravel before my eyes,

Witnessed the hatred slowly seeping through

Their skin. You could smell the bitterness

In the air around them.

Around them all.

And how many there were…

I close my eyes and in one hasty blur I see:

A whole decade of love turning to hate.

The echoed clicking of heels on the church

Floor as she walks over to him and he lifts the

White veil from her radiant face; those glazed over

Eyes, cold to look at, when a few years later

They are lifeless in their own exhaustion; the scorching

Screams of newborns year after year.

Those tired lines on her face, like a map of a wasted life.

After a while all the grey spaces disappeared and it was

Only screams or silence; no in-betweens.

As a child I used to look at old photographs,

Buried deep in cardboard boxes in the attic; gathering dust.

With their surfaces faded and corners creased,

They displayed those golden years. Before marriages.

They were holding each other.

Firmly, and with so much love, and with so much

Light in their eyes.

Now I look at them all. All light has

Slowly faded from their eyes.

Today, it’s just

Divorces

And debt

And depression.

The before and afters. The golden days

Versus now.

It seems that all love eventually fades.

There was never a marriage

In my vast family, that had a happy ever after.

I think about myself.

It is so hard to believe in love

When all you've seen is its destruction.

Will I be that woman in ten years?

Will I be that woman signing divorce papers,

Or asking

Have you been drinking?

Have you been drinking? Have you been drinking?