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Hate to Break It to You

It Was Not Okay

Photography by: Flora Bursi

Hate to break it to you

But self-deprecating humour

Is not cute

It is not funny

It's sad

It's self-abuse

Because you've been so accustomed

To the abuse of others

You began using it as self-defence

Instead of feeling insulted

As you damn well should

You'd just laugh it off

And follow suit

And pelt yourself 

With the same insults

Degrade yourself

With the same intensity

Until you believed all the lies

That they told you

About who you are

And what you could

And couldn't do

Because when you didn't

Do as they did

When you cried

When you fought back

When the pain

They battered you with

Became too much

They told you

That you were too sensitive

They said

You couldn't take a joke

They ridiculed you all the more

But the reality of it is

They were abusing you

And they brainwashed you

Into giving your permission

For them to hurt you

Hate to break it to you

But it was not okay

It was never okay

And now that you removed yourself

From their toxicity

And try to speak reason to them

They sneer at your earnest requests for

Respect, kindness, genuine love

They reject these foreign concepts

Try to abuse you at arms length

Until you have no choice

But to retreat again

To keep yourself whole

And intact

Because it is still

Not okay

That doesn't make you selfish

That doesn't make you wrong

It simply means you love yourself

In the way that those who were supposed to


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