Happiness Isn't Bliss

It’s harder for me to write when I’m happy

Happiness, being content.

Not often do I have these feelings

I’d grown accustomed to the pain

To the heartbreak, the trust issues, the anxiety.

I spend my time wishing it to be gone from me

Yet what I couldn’t see was that I needed it.

The second it left I felt empty. Restless.

I felt blocked. I needed the pain to write.

I was cut off from the creativity inside me.

Maybe it’s supposed to be like this.

I like living my life with bliss.

I’d rather live in the sun

Than hide in the rain

I can’t go back now

I don't know how

It’s weird is all I’m sayin

I love having you in my life

My brain just don’t know how to take it

Still getting used to being free

Of this monster inside of me

It’s nice feeling this way

It’s new to me

So that’s why mind can’t see

That even though it’s scary it seems

That contrary to my unpopular belief

Pain isn’t what I need

After writing this out I’m finding out

That I don’t need it now

My life is different from before

I’m new. Reinvented. Reformed.