Handcrafted Mask

My mask is hand crafted and painted

Over the years it was made

Not a tear was shed

Not an emotion let through

Until I finally met you

It wanted to break

It wanted to fall

It wanted to share it all

I repaired it time and time again

Keeping it together

So nothing is shown

My mask keeps me from you

Keeps all that is not even true

I lie to myself

Over and over again

I'm not wanted

I'm not loved

I'm nothing but useless

I'm not even worth it

I'm a failure

I'm not me

I lie to myself but tell you the truth

My mask it wants to split

Right in two

So I can never repair it

So it can show all

But that mask was made over time

It started out as nothing and grew into something

So I can start over

But then the old me is lost

And a new me is found

So my mask keeps me from you

A very good thing

To keep it in between

All there is and all there will be

Which is nothing in between

Not you

Not me

Never again

As well at it seems

I'm lost in the seams

If what I want this mask to say

No more happy

I don't want sad

How about mutual

So I never have to guess

Why my mask is broken

Again I wonder

Why is it to be

My mask is broken but not cause of me

It's cause of you and some of me

It's a beautiful hand crafter

a hand painted mask

Why did it break

Was it time to let go and stop living in the past

Or is it because I love you

I won't ever know

Cause I'll never let it break.