You used to stand
on the bathroom stool, leaning
close to the mirror
mommy's lipstick in hand.
Smearing lips with red,
eyes glowing as you made yourself up to look
like all the pretty girls in all the magazines.
Then you changed.
You wiped off those vibrant colors,
tossing those memories out of your mind
like stained tissues thrown in trash cans.
You used to don elegant dresses,
all gold and tulle and satin.
Entering a world
of princesses and knights with
dragons to slay.
Then you changed.
You tucked those memories away.
Packed them into the deepest recesses of your mind,
like the boxes
storing those gowns,
all gold and tulle and satin.
You used to throw yourself
into the spotlight your mother
and father let you bask in.
Performing Swan Lake on camera
with a missing-teeth smile.
Then you changed.
You decided you weren't
worthy of being in scrapbook pictures
and home videos,
Christmas cards stuck to refrigerator doors,
Ducked for cover at the sight
of a camera lens.
You started to build walls.
Surrounding yourself
with bricks and stones instead of
multi-colored building blocks.
You changed.
You shut yourself inside your mind
and not inside your
crayon-covered cardboard citadel.
Imagination replaced with trepidation.
You changed.
Because life isn't the same
as it was all those years ago
when you sat in your room playing house.
Playing grown-up.
About the Creator
Bailey Johnston
My passions include: mental health awareness, gender equality, self-acceptance, music, writing (mostly fiction, trying my hand at poetry) and pugs.
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