Gone

Trapped on a merry-go-round,

Stuck in the same spot

Bound to drown

Tides in her mind continuously enticing her in and holding her down

Swimming in her own thoughts

Once tranquil and regulated

Gradually becoming a storm,

A tsunami building up and preying on her

Planning to flood her mind until she gives up and lets herself drown.

As she wanders through the day, she listens to the sound of the hurricane raging in her head

She listens until it gets so loud she has to block it out

This is when she puts her earbuds in.

As the notes evaporate the mess and the words calm the forceful wind,

She becomes numb until the storm revives again

She has to become numb in order to ignore the memorial debris left in her head

Because as the wind is calmed, it forms a mocking smile

Whispering doubt into her atmosphere,

Taunting her until she feels as though her soul has evaporated into thin air.

And while she walks about the Earth, she Isn’t there.

Everyone sees her, but she isn’t really there.

She’s going through the motions but her mind is elsewhere.

It’s like she’s sleepwalking, it’s obvious she doesn’t care.

She’s going through the motions but her mind isn’t there.

It’s not like she doesn’t try,

She’s dying inside trying.

Her full effort just isn’t there because she’s multitasking.

She’s struggling to secure what she has left while trying to fight off the storm in her head.

But as the clouds roll in,

The tides get high,

Her constantly reignited motivation flickers and dies.

See it through her eyes-

Her world is falling apart but you can’t see that through her walls.

She’s constantly mending and constructing a fortress a thousand feet tall.

And as she’s so busy in her mind she’s numb to the outside,

Because when the fortress gets flooded her mind runs and hides.

After her mind runs away she’s left as a zombie to go sleepwalking through another day.

This is the only time she isn’t struggling, because now her head contains nothing.

Her mind is nowhere, locked in a daze, jumped into a black hole, an abyss

Her place of relative happiness is literally nowhere because it doesn’t exist.

She just pushes everything away and lives in the nothing.

There her problems are gone-

She isn’t hammered down, she isn’t lifted back up.

She isn’t happy, she isn’t sad, she isn’t battling,

She’s done.

She’s just simply there.

Look carefully, straight on.

Is she really there?

She’s gone.