Getting Struck by Lightning is Better Than Winning the Lottery

Why can't I find love, I asked myself in wonder

Outside I saw the lightning, and waited for the thunder

Time slowed while I was waiting and the wonder turned to fear

When I realized what I was scared of, the fear turned into tears

As the tears were dropping, thoughts came racing through

All the flashbacks proved to me what I always knew was true

Why can’t I be pretty? Why can’t I be sane?

Why am I the one who I always seem to blame?

Why can’t I be smarter? Why am I so mean?

I should be invisible, so no one has to see

Since I’m such a screw up, I tend to be depressed

But instead of trying to share my pain, I smile for the rest

Even though I hate it, my existence here is known

I don’t try, but I hurt people, and I am all alone

No one I’ve ever met really knows what I’m trying to say

But in the end it boils down to me saying I’m not okay

Even then they all insist that it gets better throughout life

And that I should put some effort, but I don’t want to try

Some people are so happy with all that they posess

But when you have nothing but time, it’s easy to obsess

I always seem to say the wrong thing when I finally do speak

And if I show my emotions, I show that I am weak

People say that’s not true, and they’re not completely wrong

Feelings aren’t a sign of weakness when you’re actually strong

That’s another thing that I am not, and I guess that kills me more

And it’s disturbing that I have less now than I've ever had before

I saw that last bolt of lightning strike right before my eyes

And by the time the thunder came, I was no longer alive