Game Over

Sometimes I wonder if I’m meant for this world, or is it too harsh for my paper thin skin. Too harsh for my brain to take. It seems like nothing changes. It’s just a chain of anger, pain and disappointment. Things go wrong and you try to smile, remembering the day is supposed to get better. Supposed to. For me all my breaks just get ripped right out from under me. So I return to square one. But there comes a point of replaying the game of feelings over and over. So it leads me to wonder if I’m cut out for this. Or let the screen GAME OVER become all that’s left.

Sometime this game of life is filled with laughter and lots of joy filled with characters I hold close. Or just the small things that bring a smile to my face. But those moments never seem to last long enough. I know you can’t stay happy forever, it’s impossible. Bad things happen and are sad sometimes. But those times are supposed to end too. And never did I expect them to last this long. But what am I supposed to do when those save files reconstruct themselves and those once important character are gone. Never to be hugged by you again. Never to laugh with you again. Why can’t this stupid game just end already!?

Slowly I accept the fate of walking by my old friends and treating me like a stranger. But when I do, a little bit more fear resides in my heart. I’ve lost so many already, hat about the few still by my side? Will they leave just like all the rest? Please don’t leave. Don’t leave me in this big cruel world alone. It will gobble me up and spit me right back up. Even more fear strikes into my heart when Mother sounds a lot like Father who has been gone a year now. Off to live his life without the sad burden of me. I wonder if Mother wants to do the same. If she did all I have left is my player 2. And I swear one day he will get tired of drying my tears and holding me close to reassure everything will be okay. He too will leave, I’ll by myself. Then it’s GAME OVER.

So I say this as my last plead to this game’s creator to rewrite my story into something less set up for failure. Give me a chance to actually begin my quest. To enjoy my adventure and not have to step carefully, scared of traps that are rarely there. But to level up and become strong. No more worrying. No more character leaving without a trace. No more wanting to want this game to end abruptly. But for the words THE END to appear when my quest is actually done and over with. When I’ve explored all I could, done everything I wanted and get that happy ending. Then I will accept

GAME OVER.