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“Friends.”

Not the best kind.

Hush

For some sad reason, I will always feel alone. No matter how hard I’ll try to hang out with friends or trying to communicate with them. I will always feel alone. Sometimes I don’t, but those are rare days. I always stay up until the early morning which usually is 5 AM. To make sure if a friend needed me, I was here. To talk, to make sure they have someone that’s listening or to just cry while everything is crumbling. I know the feeling, but nobody is there for me. In my dark room with nothing shining but the cars passing by. So quiet but the sirens from the fire station behind the house. It was just me and my thoughts. My thoughts are just roaming around. I think of fantasy when my dark thoughts come in, but it just keeps shoving and shoving all the goodness out of it. Your friends don’t care for you.  No matter how hard you tried to be there for them. They’re never going be there for you. Cause they’ll don’t understand how you feel. I’ll try to shake it off. It’s late at night I should sleep. I need to catch sleep in a race. I’m almost running out of breath and it’s still ahead of me. I lost.  My father alarm will go off always at 3:30 AM for he could get ready to leave to his work. I could hear him walking up and down the stairs to make sure he got everything. So badly, I want to go out and tell him. I can’t sleep because...because I feel lonely. I feel like nobody will care if I don’t wake up. Nobody will care if I stay in my room all day and only come out just to use the bathroom. I hear him starting his coffee machine. Him stirring his milk and sugar in his cup. I could hear him sighing when his second alarm went off to tell him it’s time to leave. I could hear the dishes falling into the sink. His loud footsteps making it to the door and the creaks of the porch as he’s walking off. The starting of the engine and his car passes by. Once again, I am alone with my dark friends.

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“Friends.”
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