Freedom from My Fears

The most bizarre yet enthralling part about struggling with depression, is that you stop fearing everything you were scared of before.

You stop being afraid of getting too close to the edge of the mountain you hiked earlier that day.

You quickly brush your finger across the flicker of the flame burning out of the lighter before you.

Your eyes heavy from the demons that keep you up at night, you wear no makeup because you don’t care if others like you or not. You stopped liking you when the demon in your mind made fun of your glasses, large nose and dark circles under your eyes.

You start taking risks you were too afraid of before, because the idea of death stopped scaring you the moment the unstoppable rain cloud overcame the sunshine that used to live above your head.

And while you used to worry about the things that could hurt you, you learn to stop caring and instead let go of all of your fears because, well, you're mentally drained...and fear is the last of your worries.

Depression is a demon that nudges at your every being.

But it has shown you that the flower you have grown to be, will die at the hands of the soil it lives in.

Seasons changing, with no control of Mother Earth’s timeline for it.

The same way we have no true control of the timeline life has for us.

For depression teaches you that we are on earth for as long as we live.

Depression is here to teach me something.

I refuse it is here to let me sink.

I will not drown.

But I will live more freely.