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A Dedication to Those Who Suffer from Epilepsy

By Katherine CarusoPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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I'm so afraid cause I don't know why these things happen to me. I'm so afraid, I'm so concerned, I don't know what to believe- I just want to know if they will ever go away, am I ever going to be okay? I'm controlled by depression, but do'nt want an eternal sleep. Why do these things keep happening to me? Am I cursed? Why me?

I just want to be seizure free.

They happen unexpectedly and embarrass me so much. I just can't control the feeling of helplessness. I feel hopeless, I feel lost. I feel like a hot mess- I'm in so much distress. I want someone to hold me, but to afraid to take the chance. I'm waiting for Mr,Right- but I don't think I'll find him in this life.

But for now, I just want to be seizure free.

These things come with Stress, and I need a lot of tests. They all come back fine, how that is blows my mind. I feel like I've been sliced by a knife, every ambition needs to be put to the side. I want to work and I want to drive- but these damn seizures ruined my life!

I just want to be seizure free.

I can't control it, I wish I could. People stare, but I don't think they care. They draw so much attention, it's like a chain reaction and when I wake up- its like, I forgot. They come on so fast and you can't react. I just want to scream "Why me, why me?"

I can't remember what I just did, it's like these seizures are messing up my head. I can't take this stress, I just want to relax- can I just get an answer from one of those tests? I pray to the lord to answer my prayers, I'm asking him to take away all of my fears. Can someone hear me, can someone help- I cant go through this all myself.

I just want to scream, I just want to cry- I want answers as to why. Why does this happen to me? Why- just why?! I want a normal life, like them, like you- it makes so mad, cause why cant I? I'm tired of living on a prayer.... I just want to be seizure free, but I guess that is just a dream.

A tear falls from her eyes.

I just want to be seizure free. Dedicated to my one and only friend

sad poetry
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