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Four

Angry

By Julian ShoafPublished 5 years ago 1 min read
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You never leave my mind.

No matter the time.

No matter the rhyme, or the reason.

Always, I see you while I’m sleeping.

As though you’re still next to me.

And I don’t know how I can go back, and act like everything’s okay.

While I fall apart, every single day.

But I know that I must stay away.

Because that’s what you want.

I can’t lie, I look for you everywhere I go.

On every street corner.

And under every lamppost.

On stranger’s faces, through passing shop windows.

I pray to God every day to see your number on my phone.

But oh my, how could I be so naïve?

So stupid to believe, that you and I were meant to be.

That you’d come back, and we’d be happy.

Holding onto hope, so that I could feel free.

I don’t have closure.

I don’t have peace.

Now all I can do is sit alone and stay angry.

Or get high with my friends.

I do that quite frequently.

Putting a blanket over the pain, of knowing you will never be here with me.

I’m stuck with myself and misery.

Sick to my stomach over the thought of you being with someone else.

In the places we were.

As he sees what I saw.

As he feels what I felt.

It seems that my cards have been dealt.

Now all I have are my thoughts.

Nothing is fun, anymore.

I'm pissed off.

I’m tired.

Every fucking day is a chore.

I drag myself from place to place, imagining the look on your face.

As I hold you in my arms, and let you know that everything will be okay.

But I’ll never get that chance again.

So, I guess I’ve said all that I have to say.

heartbreak
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