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I see myself
flying in my dreams

I can't tell if it is me
or something else, maybe someone else?
I wish I was someone else
Not me, I don't like me sometimes.

I see things below me
I keep soaring higher and higher

God, I feel like throwing up
I just want to get away from here...

My anxiety it's going up and up 
and everything around me just stops... just like that.

and I'm suddenly pulled under this sea of darkness
this black hole I have put myself in
surrounding me in all sides, 

because out there I feel like I'm being pulled in every direction and I feel so alone and I don't know what to do or how to make it stop...

and it feels likes I can't keep up, I keep 
getting it in the gut

another after another after another

please stop, I don't want to be pulled into the middle 
of this whole, that keeps digging deeper and deeper

and soon enough I will find myself at the bottom of the pit
where everyone has put me
where everyone had dragged me into...

Where I had no business being into...
PLEASE let me go

So that I can FLY!


- Written October 12, 2018. Edited December 20, 2018

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