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FLLMIFL

FxCK Lives, Living, and Most Importantly, FxCK Life

By James HarrisonPublished 6 years ago 1 min read
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Life has me speechless

Looking at it

Like do I really need this?

Over sensitive

So I

Trained myself to never feel shit

Now

All I deal with

Is misery and defeat

Walk a mile in my cleats

You’ll lose traction from beneath

Failure after failure

Wanna end it Swift, like Taylor

Fall into the dark corners

Of my fascination

Dying in my dreams

So I stopped using my imagination

Sadness is ingrained in

My cranium

I can’t focus

I can’t rest

Insomnia makes me stressed

Being awake?

I’ve lost interest

I have no job

But

lots of debt

Lots of interest

So my loss of interest

Sets me back a step

I followed my heart

And

Was met with regret

I’ve made my mistakes

Wouldn’t trade my mistakes

But

Make no mistake

Despite being broke

Broke by this joke of life

I've paid for my mistakes

24 hours of pain, anger, disdain

Vein self-hate and detestation

Fake happiness and expectations

Life’s a game of high stakes and

I wanna give up my stakes

Why James?

Cause

I don’t want to leave my place

I’m trapped in four walls of hate

I hate being awake

Last time I was happy

was when I ...

Would intoxicate

Pill bottles

And

Alcohol bottles

Would give me a solace

I haven’t found since I quit

Cause

I’m too woke

I see life’s a joke

Whose punchline is

Eventually we croak

We chase c-notes

Pro-create so

We won’t feel so alone

Take out a loan

Just to pay for a loan

That’s the cost of life

I’d rather pay with my own

sad poetry
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About the Creator

James Harrison

Ottawa based personal trainer. I write sad poems and stories about my sad life. 3+ years #sober. Instagram: Jimmydean66613

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