FLLMIFL
FxCK Lives, Living, and Most Importantly, FxCK Life
Life has me speechless
Looking at it
Like do I really need this?
Over sensitive
So I
Trained myself to never feel shit
Now
All I deal with
Is misery and defeat
Walk a mile in my cleats
You’ll lose traction from beneath
Failure after failure
Wanna end it Swift, like Taylor
Fall into the dark corners
Of my fascination
Dying in my dreams
So I stopped using my imagination
Sadness is ingrained in
My cranium
I can’t focus
I can’t rest
Insomnia makes me stressed
Being awake?
I’ve lost interest
I have no job
But
lots of debt
Lots of interest
So my loss of interest
Sets me back a step
I followed my heart
And
Was met with regret
I’ve made my mistakes
Wouldn’t trade my mistakes
But
Make no mistake
Despite being broke
Broke by this joke of life
I've paid for my mistakes
24 hours of pain, anger, disdain
Vein self-hate and detestation
Fake happiness and expectations
Life’s a game of high stakes and
I wanna give up my stakes
Why James?
Cause
I don’t want to leave my place
I’m trapped in four walls of hate
I hate being awake
Last time I was happy
was when I ...
Would intoxicate
Pill bottles
And
Alcohol bottles
Would give me a solace
I haven’t found since I quit
Cause
I’m too woke
I see life’s a joke
Whose punchline is
Eventually we croak
We chase c-notes
Pro-create so
We won’t feel so alone
Take out a loan
Just to pay for a loan
That’s the cost of life
I’d rather pay with my own
About the Creator
James Harrison
Ottawa based personal trainer. I write sad poems and stories about my sad life. 3+ years #sober. Instagram: Jimmydean66613
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