Fire

I can feel it.

Inside my body, like a pit in my stomach.

What is it?

It grows bigger, upward up my spine and across my shoulder blades and somehow at the same time it infects my chest.

Yet still it is not finished. It slithers a fiery path up my neck and bursts out my cheeks.

This undying flame will not rest.

It burns within me each day as I wash dishes and wipe down tables.

It is relentless.

It burns as I welcome customers and thank them for treating me like trash.

It forces me to see what I've become.

A nothing in a this sea of nothingness.

It pushes me to work harder.

It forces me to desire an unrealistic life of freedom.

Freedom from me.

Freedom from my four walls built on underestimated potential and broken dreams.

It gives me new life, a chance to grasp ahold of my dreams never let go.

It encourages me to no end.

It is a major push and giant leap out of this sea of nothingness to which I've succumbed.

This fiery path toward life is tempting, if I should choose to walk it, I could be burned from the inside out, consumed by failure leading only towards a shattered future.

It is patient awaiting my decision.

I took ONE step and it consumed me entirely. I stand staring ahead, unable to turn back.

There is no end.

This monstrosity of desire will continue forever.

I fear I will never be content.

The flames only grow, fueled by the constant reminder of my lack of accomplishment.

I walk the path, unkept and crumbling, until it finds my end rather than me finding the finish line.

The desire For greatness has won and destroyed the person I was along with it.