Fear

The dark is a scary place to be,

Everywhere you look;

Something could be there.

A complete mystery.

I’m terrified of the dark,

But in reality-

It’s not the dark,

It’s what I can’t see,

Even then;

It’s not what I can’t see,

It’s that I can’t see

What could potentially hurt me.

Remember this:

Behind every fear is irrational rationality.

Even more terrifying than the dark

Is another untouchable substance,

A substance renowned for everything true,

It’s called “love”,

And I sincerely fear it, I do.

Love is joy, and happiness.

Love is beauty,

Love helps to create life;

But love also destroys.

Love is a decoy-

Like the light on an angler fish,

Waiting to bite down on unsuspecting prey,

Love has fueled the most horrific displays.

I have seen love,

And like a sweet angel she came to me,

She whispered into my soul,

Convinced me to show her my ugly,

To show her the hidden monsters in my chest,

She promised that she would cradle them, too.

That she wasn’t scared of me,

Made me believe she would invest-

No.

She would not.

Love challenges you to cut yourself open,

To expose all your bloody organs to the world

With false promises that intestines are pretty.

She made me believe!

But as soon as she saw my blood splattered heart,

She walked away in disgust,

Leaving me on display,

Carved open,

And torn apart.

It takes months to sew yourself back together.

I made sure to tear my heart out,

So my body would never be tricked again,

But somehow it moved back in

By crawling through my veins,

And making home in the rotting cavity;

Causing me to fear the rumble in my chest,

The storm that’s surely to come,

I thought I could finally rest,

My scars still have not healed.

But love doesn’t care how you feel.

Love doesn’t care about your fears,

Love doesn’t remember any of the tears,

The tears she caused,

She just comes back with the sweet promises of a perfect endeavor,

And I am a fool-

For every time I believe her.