Father
A Poem I Wrote to Clear My Mind of One Sentence Said to Me Four Years Ago
"I never loved your mother"
and "I never wanted you"
I know now you didn't mean it but did you stop to think of the consequences of saying it?
Every time I break up with someone all I tell myself is: "my father never wanted me so why would anyone else?"
Every time I got upset or down that was the first thing that came to my mind. If you never loved her, why did you marry her? If you never wanted me, why did you make me?
I know now you didn't mean it but with every thing that was happening back then I was crushed. I felt worthless, I cried till I cut and I cut till I cried. All the time repeating "If my father never wanted me, why would anyone else?"
People don't understand how much a string of words can affect me. Just a sudden burst of angry words can literally destroy me.
I know that I am loved, I tell myself everyday. "You are loved when you feel alone." For all the hate Taylor Swift gets, you don't understand how many of Taylor's words have saved my life.
I am loved. I am wanted, even when I feel alone. Even when everyone leaves, I know God has a plan for me.
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