Deep in my thoughts I feel like I'm drowning,
I try not to fall deeper,
But they surround me,
Like a cloud of toxic gas coming for me,
I start running but the grim reaper stands before me,
I look around, looking for an escape,
But there's no door, no tunnel, no gate,
I try to scream, but I hesitate,
Should I let my demons win,
Face fate?
I think for a moment about my life,
My dog, my friends, the sunlight,
I think I'm ready just to leave it all behind,
It won't phase them, right? They'll continue their grind,
I think about my past, all the shit I've done,
All the shit I've seen and all shit I've tried to run from,
Every single choice and every single mistake,
What about my future?
If I leave now I won't have to wait.
What if I fuck shit up what if I'm not enough?
What if I live my life homeless or fucking scrubbing tubs?
What if I have kids and they fucking hate me and I end up like the people who tried to raise me?
If that's how it goes I don't wanna live,
I don't wanna fail and live with what I did,
Or what I didn't do, I already have so much regret,
I don't wanna fear unresolved problems on my death bed,
Just for a second, I wonder if it'll be good.
If I'll travel and have kids and afford food.
I guess it's possible but not with my mentality,
Always gonna have depression and dream of a fatality.
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